Lost and Found

This is a picture I took of my Howard. We we a bit younger and loved traveling along the California coast. It  was one of our favorite things to do, always finding something new! Now we are older and don't get out as much, we try but it is always one problem or health issues to deal with. I have been thinking of my life a lot lately. Happy and sad, it has been a long ride. I lost some of the most important things and found others. What hurts the most is people. I lost my family, a very large one, it still feels like a punch in the gut. I loved the all dearly and will miss them always. I did try and I am sure I did many things wrong, just out of pain. When I was told to go away and never come back I was crushed. I will honor what they want, stay away, always miss them and cry at times. It get better day by day, but the loss was too big. They were so loved by me and I thought I was loved by them. I guess it happens, they are good people and so am I, our paths just went different ways. I don't let sad or bad thoughts stay in my head long. It is too stressful and keeps you ill, I need to have as good a life as I can, work on the happy road I travel. I let myself cry once in a while and then find a distraction to fill my head. Life is what we make it, we have little choice in many of the out comes, we have to own what we do and realize we allow people to enter into our space. I am hoping to live the rest of my time finding all the things we missed finding all those years ago.