Dealing With A Knee Replacement And MS

Almost 64 and ready to get moving! I have more healing to do and more walking to practice, but it is coming together. I still have shots every other night to give myself for my MS, I hate them. The shots burn, welt up, get red hot and hurt huge, I do it because it helps my bad blood cells have something else to attack other than me. Copaxone is given in the belly, hips, legs and the hardest under the arm. The shots cost thousands of dollars a month, I get them free because I am a test subject, I have to report symptoms every month. I go to all the MS events I can, I do procrastinate and get out of them when I can. I guess I get tired of the same old subjects they seem to talk about. I am always hoping for a cure or a new way to handle the problem. I have good days and bad days. I push myself to hard no matter what kind of a day I am having. Work is how I deal with pain, it makes me escape it. Don;t get me wrong I love to work I am very OCD about my house and yard. Taking the time off to get my knee done has been very hard. My daughter is doing most of the house and my husband is doing what he can to help, but when you are a nut like me it has to be my way, this is hard on everyone. I am so lucky to have the help, they are so good to me. I am doing OK. It can be a bit much at times, but I am dealing with all of the issues and will do it. I can do anything is what I say to myself every day.   

A New Knee

This has been one of the hardest recoveries. Having a new knee was needed, but I wish I had put it off for a few months. My daughter and I have plans for some fun things, I need to be healed a bit more. Walking will be hard, I just need a little more practice walking, it sounds so easy and yet so hard to do.The doctor is happy with my  progress, I am a shinning example, most of it was hard and I made it look like it was easy. I have a problem letting anyone think I fail at anything. I am still on pain medicine and the nerves are causing me trouble, I hope it will be better soon. I have had a big flare with my MS, it has the nerves and mussels all mixed up. The spasms are hard to deal with at night. I just have to take the pain pills every four hours, I am not so happy about that. Just have to do what I am told for awhile, not easy for me. The scare looks good and better all the time.

My Health

I am trying to keep it all together for the next few months. Not so easy! So, much to deal with. Still can't sit long. The doctor who took my tailbone out, didn't! I will be getting to a spine surgeon later, until then I will sit onn my water bottle. My eyes will be cleared of the caterracks after my knee is healed. I am looking forward to seeing again! Awesome!! My headaches are not giving me much sleep, another problem for down the road. They found two large flairs in my brain, I am on a strong dose of Copaxone. A shot every other night. Ouch!!! I am dealing. OK, I was until I fell in the kitchen and slammed my arm into the cabinet. So, the last few weeks have been a nightmare. I jammed my shoulder. I have been hiding it from my doctors, they will stop the new knee if I am not in great shape. It is better and I have a little over a week to get better. I will be in the hospital for 3 to 5 days. Then they will be coming home with me. It is all to get me back on my feet. 4 months and if all is well I will be going to England!!!! I have walkers, wheel chair and off To a wedding. I am thrilled to see my friends and family, some for the first time. With meds and pain pills I will be fine, I will sound off at the airport, I need to get my papers in order. I have had a hard summer so far and want it to get better, I guess next year will have to work! I have tried to not let other people make it hard on me. I am so lucky to have a husband and daughter to help me, I love them tons. I guess people who don't understand and don't back you, will fall away. I need to look to the further and stop looking at the past.I have been thrown away by the best, Maybe I will get into that on a later blogg. Until then stay happy!!        

Bye Dear Micheal

My brother-in-law Micheal was buried today. More like a brother, I have known him sense I was 15. A very sad day and the end of a part of my life. I wish I could have been around to see him in the last few years, but it couldn't be helped. I loved Mike and he will be missed. Fly high Micheal. xxxxx

My Little Family

Some of my favorite guys. Grandpa always looks at them with great pride, he loves just being with them. I am so pleased they have grown into caring, giving and loving young men. In spite of some bad role models they are turning into wonderful men. My other two grandchildren are the same, I couldn't ask for more. They are talented too, I am a lucky grandma! Now that we can, we will be spending more time visiting. I am looking forward to the holidays this year. We are a small family, but I can trust them all with my heart.   

A visit with grandsons

Two of my grandsons came for a visit, it makes me cry. Not for any reason except I love and miss them so. They played a game of golf with old grandpa, let me hug them and made my daughter smile. Nate and Nick (Nick Dee's son) have always had my heart. Nate is my son's and he reminds me of his dad. I miss him more than I can say. He has been mad at me for many years, but it never changes my love for him. We had a great visit, I wish we lived closer. A drop by from time to time would be the best, I will just take what I can get. I love you guys and miss my other two grandchildren, grandma loves you. 

Lemon Tree

When we moved to California I wanted a lemon tree, so first thing I bought one. I love it and it is growing bigger every time I look at it. My tree has about 5 lemons on it, one a good size. I am looking forward to picking my first pretty yellow lemon. Yellow is so cheerful to me and full of hope. We will get around to putting the rocks down as soon as we can. I have too many health problems to get out of the way first. The very last thing I will do is paint my front door red. A red door is for a welcome to my home. I have so many things to do on my bucket list. I will have to get that written out. I wish I were closer to my family, but they can come visit any time.  

Karma can be a bitch!

It;s hard to deal with all the things that are going on in our lives. With both Dee and I going through cancer scares and more medical things ahead, we are dealing with so much stress. We will be fine and are looking forward to great things to come. I have to say I am worried about the new knee, it will be so much pain  and work to get back on my feet. I have three doctors to see for pre-op. I have real good doctors so I have faith in them. I worry about Dee though, she has so much to catch up on. She should have had most of it done, but she didn't get to doctors until now. She can;t get things done for lack of money. I wish I could help her more. She was married to one of those guys that thought he made the money, so he came first. She needs cloths, a car and get back to school. He took so much from her and left her so broken. I am to blame for so much, I looked the other way thinking it would have made things worse. He had a big head and no skills. We all lied to cover for his weakness's. I will never do that again, it just made fools of us all. We had a break in and some things were taken. I don't want to put the blame any where I can't prove, but we will find out and it will be taken care of. Karma is sometimes an evil bitch!!!! I am trying to keep up with positive thinking and meditation. I want to think their are better people out there and all will work out. Time will tell!   

New Yellow Paint

The old color, blue, green, gray. It depends on which side your looking at. The years and the sun have taken a tole on the color. It needed a new color and yellow with white trim is just right. 

 The front and the shed will come first. The shade will tell us what side to work on. The white trim looks great. New front and all that white will look so clean, I love it.

 All the yellow is done on the front, it looks so nice. The yard will have to wait until the painting is done. Rock and more plants will finish off the perfect look. We will be putting up a fence and the old garden gate. The entrance will be great, can't wait to get it all done. We still have more to do in the house, So much work!!!!!
  

 It doesn't look like what we moved into. The weeds and different entrance, no walk way. So much work! I can't wait for the end and some fun in California.
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Screen Door and Another Sale

 After that last blogg I decided to lighten up. I am so working on being a nice person and sometimes it can be a challenge. Anyway, Howard built me a new screen door for the back door. It helps keep the bugs out and the dogs in. I have so much to do and this helps so much. Thank you my husband. 
 

Well, back to the storage unit again. I am lined up for another sale under the freeway. I am not ready at all and a little worried I won;t be ready. I only have one month that I can do this, I will be getting  a new knee which screws up my summer. It is along recovery and the house, yard and storage has to be done. I can be a bit of a fuss bunny, making it hard on my care givers (husband & daughter). I guess I should say I am sorry before it all happens! Sorry!!!!! If you look close at the picture you can see a turkey running off. He was checking out my stuff when he came by. I will start tomorrow and get it all done, keeping figures crossed!!!!!

Being Sick Is Hard

I hate to think about the negative things in this world. When I do it makes me feel so petty, but sometimes it just clears my mind to let it all go. I meditate to help with all the daily problems and the pain I am going through. Ms is very hard to deal with as I get older. The shots are so painful, but I have more lesions on the brain and they do help. I have had my MS for most of my life, starting with migraines as a small child. With all the other things that can go wrong it has made them all much worse. It causes depression because of the problems in the brain. I am sure my husband would say I am a pain in the butt, but he loves me through all my health problems, I am a lucky woman to have him, but then again he is lucky to have me too! Together we make a whole, as one always. I wish my dear daughter was as lucky, her marriage fell apart. She is back with us now, some days are good and she makes the plans for school, she wants to go forward. Other days she is very sad and lost, these days break my heart. The worst days are when she cries most of the time, nothing we can say helps. The health problems are getting too much for her to handle and we are so little help. She may have MS, we will not know yet, the pain is so overwhelming. Now the breast cancer scare. We will hold our breath and her hand. She feels like someone is missing, I know how she feels, I would be the same. The test she will be put though are so scary and the results can be so hard. I will love her through it all. This among other things make me hate her husband or soon to be ex-husband. He left her knowing about all her health problems, her teeth are breaking and she will have to get new ones (mine did the same thing, an MS thing), her eyes are bad and she need new glasses, the breast lumps, her hips and leg pain (the same as mine) and the depression that goes along with many medical problems. It is such a hard time, I know I have been through them to. She has a few other issues and I have some that differ, but live can be so hard for some. I know there are so many that suffer more, but that doesn't help when it;s late at night and in a very painful place. You need that loving hand and poof, hes gone! He doesn't help by telling her she stole $3,000 of his money, she needed it to pay the doctor bills, he worked for it so she has no right to it. What a load of crap! We gave them $15,000 when we sold the house in Idaho, he did nothing to earn that money, one of the laziest men I have ever known. He spent it on himself and she got nothing. No, she got a laptop, washer and a drier (She had to take the washer and drier back, they needed the money). The way I figure it he owes me a butt load of money, he only got money because he was married to my daughter. He lied so good he had me fooled and he broke my child;s heart, I will never forget this lesson and I truly hope he learns a big lesson. We cared so much we looked the other way, another thing I will never forget. It all ended very sick, ucky and ugly! I hope so much for her and will be ther to help her along. Have a wonderful new life my sweet daughter.          

My Yard Sale Bench

I got this fantastic bench at a yard sale last weekend, love it. It is all held together with pegs, the wood is very old and it was only $20.00. I had a great time out wandering from street to street. It makes me happy to get something that is one of a kind. I found so many great things, but this has to be my very favorite. I have no idea what I  will do with it, it is just the thrill of the hunt! I am hooked on bringing home a truck full of treasurers.  

Turkey in the road

One thing I will never get use to is wild turkey wandering around. We see them when we travel any road, going any where. I have not gone to many places yet, but do plan on it soon. I want to see San Francisco as soon as I can. Our daughter has had a hard time with her soon to be ex- husband. He has put her through a very bad brake up. When she cries it makes her mom sad, very angry and want a piece of him. I guess karma will take care of things, fingers crossed. I don't hate people, but I do hate what they can do to others. Seeing and reading things are painful, I thought he loved her. To find out he was not only fooling her, but us too. We were with them a week earlier and all was great, he was making plans of places he wanted to show us! I guess I was made a fool of to. I will have my radar up now. In the end it was as bad as it gets, he threw her out and she is home with us. We love her tons, I just hope it's the last time I have to see how bad and sick a man can be, ick. Well we all will be fine and she is getting stronger. We are a small family, but a trusting one. He is one turkey who should stay out of the road!!!!!   

  

Under The Freeway Antique Sale

Under the freeway antique fair. I went there yesterday and did very well. I wanted to get my storage a bit cleared out and was told they were full for this month, I was bummed. I need to get as much done as I can before my knee replacement surgery. It only is open on the second Sunday of each month and I was afraid I would run out of time for this Summer. I have until July before the surgery, but I am on stand by, so it could happen ant time. I was going to have to wait until next month to sale any of it and my storage was full. Well, Saturday I got the call they had a spot for the sale at 5:30, my storage is open until 9:, I had just finished taking more to the storage and was tired already. Howard ran for the trailer, Dee and I got ready and we dashed for the storage and filled the truck and trailer. We made it and came back to get the rest of the day over before some sleep before the dash at 3:30 in the wee hours of the morning, get down there to unload, and sale until 5:00. Leaving before 5:00 is frond on so it makes for a very long day. I did it!!!! Now I hope the doctor does't call because my leg and knee is very swollen, no surgery if they are. On the other hand I could make one more sale next month or am I pressing it? Well, I did do well and we will see!!!!!!!!!  

Cactus and more Cactus!!!!

                                                     My lemon tree is getting bigger!!

We planted a bunch of cactus this week. Now we know you need to wear gloves! I guess we did know, but we are use to the guy way. We are trying to be ladies in our new life, it is some times a hard to change. We were farm girls not that long ago. It will take time and we will be girls again. The man who does the lawns let us dig up the cactus in his back yard. They are great plants for a very dry California. I love to have a yard with very little care, I am tired now and need to take the time for other things. We will put down the rocks and just water when needed, so great. We have a back yard for the girls (Martha and Elizabeth). They need to have potty and play in the grass, but just a little area. I am so happy with the nice guy and his wife, how nice! I took a few pictures, but there are many more. Back to the cactus, Ouch, still picking out thorns. These plants will get very large. Can't wait!!!!  

My Son

I have my daughter here with me and her Dad, she is going through a bad divorce.I loved my children more than anything, but some where I lost my son. I made so many mistakes and would go back if I could, it will hurt forever. It is so hard to live in the world when you know he is just a few miles away and yet you will never see him again. I suppose there is always some little bit of hope. My daughter miss's him as much as I. She is home with us and we are all missing that one piece of our lives. I love you my son, your mom's only dream is to see her baby boy just once more. You are my heart. Time goes so fast and we need to use it wisely, it is not on our side. Just one knock on the door, a phone call, one word. I love you..... 

Lost and Found

This is a picture I took of my Howard. We we a bit younger and loved traveling along the California coast. It  was one of our favorite things to do, always finding something new! Now we are older and don't get out as much, we try but it is always one problem or health issues to deal with. I have been thinking of my life a lot lately. Happy and sad, it has been a long ride. I lost some of the most important things and found others. What hurts the most is people. I lost my family, a very large one, it still feels like a punch in the gut. I loved the all dearly and will miss them always. I did try and I am sure I did many things wrong, just out of pain. When I was told to go away and never come back I was crushed. I will honor what they want, stay away, always miss them and cry at times. It get better day by day, but the loss was too big. They were so loved by me and I thought I was loved by them. I guess it happens, they are good people and so am I, our paths just went different ways. I don't let sad or bad thoughts stay in my head long. It is too stressful and keeps you ill, I need to have as good a life as I can, work on the happy road I travel. I let myself cry once in a while and then find a distraction to fill my head. Life is what we make it, we have little choice in many of the out comes, we have to own what we do and realize we allow people to enter into our space. I am hoping to live the rest of my time finding all the things we missed finding all those years ago.   
   

Antique sale and a new knee!

Yea, it's time to clean the storage out. I will be heading for the Antique Market under the freeway. Well, not me so much, Howard and Dee will have to do the sale, I am jut getting it all ready. I will be getting my new knee soon and it will be awhile before I can get around. I will be sitting and pointing my finger! All the house work will be their job too, I feel for them, I am such a freak when it comes to it all being done my way. I should say I am sorry ahead, upfront for my bad attitude, crying, screaming and all around firing people. I don't think they will come close enough to hit them, Oh well!!!! The knee is coming at a bad time, any time! I hate that I will be non-productive for so long! I work through my pain, no I can't do that!! So, I will have to find another way of dealing with it. I will have a slow heal with all the other things I deal with, I hope it all works out. I had my EKG done and now a class on what we will be doing before and after the surgery. Scary to me!!!! I will be in good hand, I am sure it will work out. Help!!!!!!! 

A new knee

This is me at the age of 16 and pregnant with my daughter Dee. I wish I would have known then what I know now. Take care of yourself, have more fun, don't get old! Well, the last part is just wishful thinking, but the rest is true. I am paying for all the fun I had back then. I will be going through another surgery, this one is on my knee, I need a new one. It has me a bit worried and a bunch afraid. It will be a long recovery and I hate taking the time away from my plains. I will not be running in that marathon, now it is a fast walk. I was looking forward to getting out and practicing for it, it would have been so grand. I will have to wait until next spring and speed walk, not the same. I have worries about the pain and recovery too! It is just a lot to think about. I have to have tests done on my heart and even take a class before it will take place, that puts me off to June. I have the help of Howard and daughter Dee, she is living with us again. She will be a huge help to me. I guess I should think more positive and feel lucky. I have many blessings.......

Lemon Tree

 

My lemon tree! I knew the first thing I wanted in California was a lemon tree and I have one. It has almost doubled in size, I had one bloom last fall. We haven't really had what I have always known as Winter here yet. The lady (Vicky) next door has roses in her yard, red roses. I am doing a small battle with a squirrel right now, it is hiding its nuts in my flower beds. I am winning with the help of coffee grounds, something Dee taught me. We do have a problem with oranges & lemons cross pollenating with each other. We have the biggest, sweetest, orange lemons I have ever seen. The thorns are long and sharp, this I have never known. I have lots of yard work to do this spring, planting and painting, so much! I think a yard tells a lot about a person, I like medal, wood, brick and rust kind of a person. The more rust the better for me. The mobile home will be yellow and go great with the lemons! Now all I have to do is wait until Spring to get busy, I will work on my room until then.    
   

Remodel the bedroom

I wasn't going to put any pictures on about my bedroom until it was done, but I changed my mind. We have been so busy with all the other important things in life and it all gets to be a blur. This room had giant mirror closet doors where the bed sits. We ripped them out before we had the carpet put in. The room was a little dark for me, so how about another arch, take that bathroom door down, who needs a door! We have picked the paint for the walls, but it is going to take some time. I want all the different colors of white and yes there are many whites. I want something different this time and white is  my favorite color. We have the entire bathroom to remodel, I get tired just thinking of it all. The fireplace will be in the corner with the television over it. There will be doors to close it when we want to put it away. As we go along it will be better, I hope! I am in a hurry to get some of it done because I will be getting my knee replaced very soon. This will slow me down, but won't stop me. I need to slow down, it seems so hard for me, I do love to work on the house. The quilt shelf is made from a tired old dresser, missing drawers, just take them out and add a shelf, done!!